I have practiced aikido, on and off for 25 years, since I was a teenager. Over that time, my teachers have changed, my focus has changed, and how I think about aikido has changed.
Recently I have been considering what thoughts go through my head when I am doing aikido, and how do those thoughts impact on the way that I practice. How have I been developing Aikido thinking?
As an 18-year-old starting out, and knowing nothing, I had complete faith in my first teacher and did exactly what she told me. I don’t believe I ever had an actual thought during a technique until I passed my first grading. A technique would be demonstrated, I would do my best to imitate it, practice it, get some pointers and practice it more.
From the first practice, my teacher emphasised that no external thoughts should intrude during practice. If we think about what we are going to have for dinner, how our day has been, what we are doing at the weekend, etc then we will not be in the moment and our practice will be negatively impacted.
This took some practice but with some demonstrations of the potential negative impacts (e.g. being hit, being hurt or hurting your partner) this good habit was ingrained.
Getting my yellow belt introduced a thought to the process – is this from basic or movement? That first thought then allowed other thoughts to be introduced. Each time I practiced a technique, my head would be full of different thoughts until I started noticing them.
They started fairly innocuous and relevant:
- Which form?
- Which version?
- How does my arm/ leg/ wrist/ body move?
As I progressed, they started incorporating more Ki principles:
- Am I engaged with my partner?
- Are they controlled?
- Am I hurting them?
- Where should I be thinking to?
My thoughts would then start to include the common phrases that my teacher would reprimand us with:
- Am I standing my full height?
- Is my head held high or am I looking down?
Questions would be altered over the years:
- Where is my weight?
- Which foot/ leg am I on?
- Is my body in the correct alignment/ facing the correct direction?
- Is my partner OK? Do I need to make any changes to the technique to accommodate them?
- What are the changes or recent points to focus on for this technique?
- Is this the current version of this technique?
As you can see, over time, it has gone from one simple thought to a maelstrom of thoughts. This to the point that it would often be the third time of practicing a technique before I would have considered all of the thoughts. When I hit an issue with a technique that would set off a new cycle of going through the same questions.
But what thoughts actually helped me with my practice? Which ones were able to ensure that my aikido was the best it could be?
The few times that I have actually performed a technique “properly”, I have found that no thoughts were in my head. Everything was calm and there was an absence of conscious thought. I would try to review what had happened so that I could replicate it, but there was nothing to remember. It was almost like blacking out or falling asleep.
In all my time of practicing, I have encountered this phenomenon a handful of times and I count myself lucky to have experienced it that much. I came to the realisation that calmness, was a true co-ordination of mind and body and so there was nothing to remember. Everything happened exactly as it should.
When I encountered this phenomenon and reviewed it, I also identified that there was a pure trust with my partner. Neither of us were questioning or looking for issues. We were both engaged together in the technique – it was not an individual flow state but a combined flow state.
This helped me review how I uke. Being a uke is both a privilege and a responsibility, and one that I have had to learn and relearn. At times in the past, ego or attitude has got in the way and meant that my partner has not been allowed to reach that flow state. With recognition of this through hard won experience, and a lot of advice and encouragement from peers, I now try to give my partner the best chance of reaching that flow state. I do this by leaving my ego at home, and coming to practice with sincerity and one aim – follow the ki that my partner is extending.
There is still a lot of work to do – I need to work on calming my mind and aiming for mind and body co-ordination when doing the technique, and I need to become more sensitive to others ki and at following where my partner is extending to.
This is a challenge that I find positive and invigorating and feels like it is the driver of improvement for my aikido.
Jamie McNaughton
Stewartfield Ki Aikido Club